Cannibal! The Musical

Released: 1996

Reviewed: 11.24.09
Star rating: 2 out of 5

Trey Parker (Alferd Packer), Matt Stone (James Humphries), Dian Bachar (George), Stephen Blackpool (Black Cat), Duster (Liane), Brad Gordon (Mills), Ian Hardin (Shannon), Edward Henwood (Cyclops), Jon Hegel (Isreal), Andrew Kemler (Nutter), Masao Maki (Indian Chief).

Packer, the first known American cannibal, leads a party of gold prospectors from Utah into Colorado getting stranded by a Rocky Mountain winter in the process. As the hysterical show-tunes, sight gags, and raunchy humor relentlessly continue the group realizes eating each other may be their only means of survival.

Yes, these are the same guys (Trey Parker and Matt Stone) who did South Park. And they should have stuck with that instead of trying to make a musical mockery out of the Packer story. This one started off with a whimper and a show-tune and continued to drill the ridiculous depravity into your brain until your skull wanted to explode. The only thing that kept it interesting were the sexually crude and suggestive lyrics such as my favorite, "The sky is always blue, when I'm on top of you". This was like watching a train wreck in slow motion but much less interesting and without any decent blood or guts whatsoever. All that kept us watching was the absolute disbelief that such a film was produced and the misplaced hope that Parker (not Packer) would be beheaded at some point.

Acting was. . .missing? Ok, that's unfair. Many of the actors here put forth absolutely ridiculous performance which is what I hope they wanted to do. If not, they were horrible. No exceptions.

Camera work might have been done by a kid with an iPhone considering the washed out colors, fuzzy focus, and repetitive close-up shots. Backgrounds and sets were decent considering the overall quality of the film. Dialogue was a mix of ridiculous and ridiculously funny.

I guess I was expecting something funnier from the South Park boys but for the most part this one was just boring. The whole show-tune thing turned me off a bit, probably because a cat receiving a Diet Sprite enema from Jack Nicholson could have sung better than any them in this film.

Overall, disappointing. Severe blunt trauma to the head might improve it a bit but still, don't get your hopes up. My only hope is they get the real Packer a role in the sequel, if there ever is one, and he will eliminate the chance of this happening again. With some comedic gore, violence, and foul language save this for older teens and those in a coma.