Delta Farce

Released: 2007

Reviewed: 11.26.09

Star rating: 1 out of 5

Larry The Cable Guy (Larry), Bill Engvall (Bill), DJ Qualls (Everett), Lisa Lampanelli (Connie), Keith David (Kilgore), Danny Trejo (Carlos Santana), Jeff Dunham (Amazing Ken).

The war on terror is getting desperate so lazy reservists Larry, Bill and Everett are called into active duty in Iraq. But when they are accidentally dropped in Mexico they decide to liberate the country anyway. With the criminal Carlos Santana (no, not the musician) serving as the enemy the boys go to war on terror!

This one starts off looking a bit goofy but with an interesting plot premise full of juicy potential. The 3 guys are semi-redneck lazy idiots never imagining they could be called to duty. When Sgt. Kilgore who is all business shows up things get a bit funny as the boys are initiated into military life then accidentally dropped into Mexico. Assuming they are in Iraq they head out to hunt terrorists, and again things are funny for a bit. But once the plot starts to gel the humor dissolves except for Trejo who has to repeat throughout the rest of the film that he isn't Carlos Santana the musician.

Acting was pretty much miserable and what you would expect from comedians turned actors. Larry was the worst with Engvall serving as runner-up. Surprisingly Qualls wasn't bad. David and Trejo tried to bring life back with decent performances but just couldn't do it.

Film quality wasn't bad with decent sets, backgrounds, and camera work. Sound was good though dialogue wasn't.

Overall, this just wasn't a very funny comedy and a bit disappointing. Watched with an 11 yr old and a 15 yr old I wasn't hearing anyone laughing which is a pretty good indication I'm not the only one who labeled this a failure. Mild crude, sexual humor but this should be fine for teens and above.

Night of the Living Dead

Released: 1990

Reviewed: 2009

Star Rating: 2 out of 5

Tony Todd (Ben), Patricia Tallman (Barbara), Tom Towles (Harry), McKee Anderson (Helen), William Butler (Tom), Katie Finneran (Judy Rose), Bill Moseley (Johnnie), Heather Mazur (Sarah).

When zombies are suddenly attacking, a group of survivors try to barricade themselves inside a farmhouse. As they fight a war against the zombies, they end up fighting amongst themselves as well in this remake of the 1968 classic.

As a rule I don’t compare sequels or remakes and I won’t be doing that with this film. The movie starts off a bit slow then jumps right into the zombie action. Then it gets slow again and pretty much stays slow with a few attempts at a jump-start here and there. The story is pretty good it just didn’t move along very well. Add in an excessive amount of shuffling zombies who were actually more believeable than most of the actors and things got boring and hard to swallow. Really, how long do we all have to see the girl in the basement with the zombie bite before she actually turns into a zombie? The characters in the film even had it figured out before the Director!

Acting was disappointing by just about everyone. Todd overacted in an attempt (I think) to save the film while the lack of energy from just about everyone else in the movie was amazing. I quit even trying to empathize with any of the characters and finally started rooting for the zombies to win.

Camera work had some dark shots and jittering that was annoying while sets and background looked pretty low budget. Makeup and effects weren’t bad at all however and played the biggest part in saving the film. Dialogue and sound were both mediocre.

If you are a serious zombie flick fan, check this one out. There are a lot worse out there and many better with this one being about the middle of the pack. Obviously some adult content, foul language, brief nudity, violence, and gore gore gore so save this for older teens and above.

White Chicks

Released: 2004

Reviewed: 11.25.09

Star rating: 2 out of 5

Shawn Wayans (Kevin), Marlon Wayans (Marcus), Jaime King (Heather), Frankie Faison (Chief), Lochlyn Munro (Jake), John Heard (Warren), Busy Philipps (Karen), Terry Crews (Latrell), Brittany Daniel (Megan).

Kevin and Marcus are a couple of FBI agents who are about to lose their jobs after a drug bust is ruined by the Wilson sisters. Then assigned to protect the sisters from the drug dealers, the brothers decide the best way to catch the criminals is to impersonate the two girls.

Basically this is two black men dressing as uppity rich white girls, trying to fit into their upper class lifestyle, and catch the bad guys. The premise is good and the film delivers a few laughs but it isn't anywhere near as funny as it could have been. The first 20 minutes were funny then the bad makeup, dumb blonde jokes, and making fun of white folks got old. After that, the film just got boring and repetitive. What there was of a plot was really incidental to the idea of black men dressing like white girls and basically poking fun at whites. Where this movie was a non-event I can only imagine what would happen were some white men to try and dress like black women and make the same movie.

I do have to give credit to the Wayans brothers. Despite the plot, and lame dialogue, they actually have some acting ability. Crews was the one bright spot for me and was absolutely hysterical in his role. Supporting work wasn't bad but could have been a lot more.

Camera work, sets, and backgrounds were nicely done. Dialogue was ridiculous as expected while the soundtrack wasn't half bad, thanks to Vanessa Carlton.

Overall this was a decent teen chick-flick but it wasn't the hysterical comedy I had hoped to see. The recycling of the same basic jokes over and over ruined this one, which could have been a much better film. Some crude humor but this should be fine for teens and above.

Cannibal! The Musical

Released: 1996

Reviewed: 11.24.09
Star rating: 2 out of 5

Trey Parker (Alferd Packer), Matt Stone (James Humphries), Dian Bachar (George), Stephen Blackpool (Black Cat), Duster (Liane), Brad Gordon (Mills), Ian Hardin (Shannon), Edward Henwood (Cyclops), Jon Hegel (Isreal), Andrew Kemler (Nutter), Masao Maki (Indian Chief).

Packer, the first known American cannibal, leads a party of gold prospectors from Utah into Colorado getting stranded by a Rocky Mountain winter in the process. As the hysterical show-tunes, sight gags, and raunchy humor relentlessly continue the group realizes eating each other may be their only means of survival.

Yes, these are the same guys (Trey Parker and Matt Stone) who did South Park. And they should have stuck with that instead of trying to make a musical mockery out of the Packer story. This one started off with a whimper and a show-tune and continued to drill the ridiculous depravity into your brain until your skull wanted to explode. The only thing that kept it interesting were the sexually crude and suggestive lyrics such as my favorite, "The sky is always blue, when I'm on top of you". This was like watching a train wreck in slow motion but much less interesting and without any decent blood or guts whatsoever. All that kept us watching was the absolute disbelief that such a film was produced and the misplaced hope that Parker (not Packer) would be beheaded at some point.

Acting was. . .missing? Ok, that's unfair. Many of the actors here put forth absolutely ridiculous performance which is what I hope they wanted to do. If not, they were horrible. No exceptions.

Camera work might have been done by a kid with an iPhone considering the washed out colors, fuzzy focus, and repetitive close-up shots. Backgrounds and sets were decent considering the overall quality of the film. Dialogue was a mix of ridiculous and ridiculously funny.

I guess I was expecting something funnier from the South Park boys but for the most part this one was just boring. The whole show-tune thing turned me off a bit, probably because a cat receiving a Diet Sprite enema from Jack Nicholson could have sung better than any them in this film.

Overall, disappointing. Severe blunt trauma to the head might improve it a bit but still, don't get your hopes up. My only hope is they get the real Packer a role in the sequel, if there ever is one, and he will eliminate the chance of this happening again. With some comedic gore, violence, and foul language save this for older teens and those in a coma.

Sugar Hill

Released: 1993

Reviewed: 11.23.09
Star rating: 3 out of 5

Wesley Snipes (Roemello), Khandi Alexander (Ella), Clarence Williams III (AR Skuggs), Abe Vigoda (Gus), Michael Wright (Raynathan), Ernie Hudson (Lolly), Theresa Randle (Melissa).

Roemello and Raynathan have lived the tough life, watching their mother die by overdose then becoming dealers of the same drug that killed her and made their father useless. But with new dealers moving in, and a new girlfriend, Roemello is ready to quit and settle down into a different type of life. But it doesn't seem that life is going to let that happen.

This one starts with a bit of background and character development before sliding into the plot. Good action and drama keep the film moving along but since we have probably already guessed at some of the things that will happen it seems to move more slowly than it is. Although the plot does have a point the film goes to great pains to show the hard lives that several of the characters have taken in life. With guns, drugs, sex, love, and violence this one has a little bit of everything for everyone.

Acting was pretty good by everyone. Snipes did a decent job with his role as usual. Wright was great as the crime focused violent younger brother. Williams was excellent as the drugged out dad while Randle did well as the love interest in the film. Even Vigoda did a nice job as a crime boss. No great performances here but good solid acting all around.

Camera work, sets, and background were all nicely done with good detail. Sound and dialogue were pretty good as was the soundtrack.

Overall a nice little crime drama if you enjoy the genre. No big revelations or surprises here, just a nitty gritty story that is told pretty well. Explicit drug use, violence, and plenty of foul language so save this for older teens and above.

Meteor

Released: 2009
Reviewed: 11.22.09
Star rating: 2 out of 5

Christopher Lloyd (Dr. Lehman), Marla Sokoloff (Imogene), Jason Alexander (Dr. Chetwyn), Stacy Keach (Police Chief), Ernie Hudson, Billy Campbell, Mimi Michaels, Kenneth Mitchell, Michael Rooker.

A huge meteor is flying at the Earth while Dr. Lehman and Imogene are the only ones who have the information Dr. Chetwyn needs to possibly save the planet. As Earth gets pummeled by meteorites ahead of the big one people panic, communications fails, and an ex-cop gone crazy is wreaking havoc on the small town of Taft.

This was apparently a made for tv mini-series that must have had a nice budget considering the production quality. Strangely enough, I had a hard time finding credit information on the film. Almost as if the big names removed themselves after production was complete, or maybe it is just to new. The film started off a bit slow but picked up the pace pretty quickly. There was a fair amount of action and stress which kept things moving but the film focused much more on the drama resulting from the meteor than the actual destruction, sci-fi aspect, or technical side of things. Not bad, just not what I was hoping for when I popped this in the DVD player. And after 3 hours, it got a bit tiresome watching Imogene get every gun she held taken away from her.

Acting was mixed with Sokoloff, Hudson, and Rooker doing nicely. Alexander was ridiculous and Keach, although he did well, is getting hard to swallow as a rough and tumble cop anymore.

Camera work, sets, and background were all nicely done. The film felt like a high quality production despite re-use of some CGI meteor shots. Sound and dialogue were okay but plain. Effects were about what you would expect for a tv series with a decent budget. Nothing incredible but decent.

Overall this was a well done drama that moved along nicely. It was a middle of the road end of the world disaster film. And it was a horrible sci-fi. Depending on what you are hoping for, you will probably really like this one or absolutely hate it. Being made for TV this one is pretty much okay for all audiences.

Grace

Released: 2009

Reviewed: 11.21.09
Star rating: 2 out of 5

Jordan Ladd (Madeline), Stephen Park (Michael), Gabrielle Rose (Vivian), Serge Houde (Henry), Samantha Ferris (Patricia), Kate Herriot (Shelly), Malcolm Stewart (Dr. Sohn), Tenai Measmer and Annabel Bast (Grace).

Madeline is involved in an accident that kills the fetus she is carrying. Rather than having it removed she decides to have the baby stillborn. But when the time comes the baby is alive, and hungry. But this baby doesn't want milk, it wants blood.

This one starts off slow with character development then shifts into the plot which never seems to develop very well. The story is a bit freaky and definitely has a horror element but there is a lot left unexplained. We never really find out exactly why Grace comes to life after being stillborn or why she craves blood. Madeline's relationship with Patricia is never explained, nor is the animosity or strange behavior of her mother-in-law, Vivian. It felt like the film depended on the gore and disturbing plot concept to tell the story rather than acting, plot development, or simple explanation. After a while the film stalls and just becomes redundant which is also about the time we realize the entire story could have been told with the same impact in under 30 minutes.

Acting by Ladd was interesting if not good. Stewart wasn't bad but most everyone else was seriously lacking in this one. They seemed to be either inexperienced or truly clueless about their roles.

Camera work, sets, and backgrounds were simplistic and minimal giving the impression of a somewhat low budget film. Sound and dialogue were acceptable but could have done a lot more for the film.

Overall the plot concept was very good but the film lacked any kind of energy or tangible direction. From the reaction of my female co-viewer I would say women will feel a much stronger impact with this one than men. Plenty of blood and gore, some violence and sexual content so save this for older teens and above.