Friday, November 2, 2018

Movie review: Simon Says

 
 When 5 friends decide to go camping what they don’t expect is to run across Simon and Stanley, a couple of twisted backwoods twin brothers with a pickaxe fetish. As they struggle to survive the craziness the pickaxes fly and the blood flows freely.

Crispin Glover (Simon/Stanley), Margo Harshman (Kate), Greg Cipes (Zack), Carrie Finklea (Vicky), Kelly Vitz (Ashley), Artie Baxter (Riff), Lori Lively (Lani), Blake Lively (Jenny).

This is textbook 80’s teen slasher fodder. The plot is ridiculously thin and explained only enough to give the film a basis. Beyond that this is about insanity and gore, plain and simple. With a lunatic loose in the woods, cute sexy girls, macho boys with the token stoner thrown in for fun, and the unusual choice of a pickaxe as the murder weapon of choice, this is almost as predictable as a sunrise.

Acting was uninteresting other than from Glover who is wonderful at playing mentally deranged schizophrenic psychopaths. Sets were minimal for the most part as the film takes place in the woods. Special effects were a bit hard to swallow with 20 pickaxes flying through the air at the same time. Dialogue was mediocre at best while camera work and sound left a bit to be desired. Some of the gore effects were pretty good, as were a couple of BOO moments.

Overall, a fairly typical teen slasher flick with few surprises. Prolific drug use, foul language, mild nudity and sexuality, violence, and plenty of bloody gore so save this one for the oldest teens and above.

Released: 2006
Reviewed: 10.23.18
Star rating: 2 out of 5
Genre: Thriller, Horror, Slashers and Serial Killers, Teen Screams

copyright ©2018 Dave Riedel

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