Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The Apple

Released: 1980
Reviewed: 11.5.09
Star rating: 2 out of 5

Catherine Stewart (Bibi), George Gilmour (Alphie), Grace Kennedy (Pandi), Allan Love (Dandi), Vladek Sheybal (Boogalow), Joss Ackland (Topps), Ray Shell (Shake), Miriam Margolyes (Landlady).

Innocents Alphie and Bibi dream of being musical stars so they compete at the Worldvision Song Festival and although they do well, the BIM corporation fixes the competition so they don't win. Afterwards BIM offers them a contract which Alphie thinks is a trap and Bibi thinks is a blessing, leading them to battle the BIM Corporation in this futuristic dystopia set in 1994.

This film is at once a piece of garbage and a unique blending of social paradigms. Set as a musical which apparently had grand aspirations the film is so overly glamorous and satirical you can't help but be amused. Or is that appalled? The music is ridiculous with songs like "Speed" and "I'm coming" that while catchy were mildly offensive being openly about drugs and sex. The plot seems to be about corporate dominance by an unusually disturbing gay contingent then shifts to a basic Good vs. Evil theme. At the same time we have BIM taking over the world and implementing a type of socialist control over people with mandated exercise hours and fashion police while an endless supply of religious satire is stuffed into the cracks. The icing on all of this is more obnoxiously colored polyester than I've ever before seen in my life. It was as if a posse of drag queens were given the job of costuming for this film and they competed against each other for the most flashy costume. With all that and an apparently decent budget, this still looks like a bad 80's big hair flick.

Acting was horrible, music was awful, camera work bad, dialogue repulsive, sets, background, and costuming were ridiculous. This was like watching the most beautiful train-wreck you have ever seen in your life and explained why there was a surge of drug use in the 80's, because things like this scared the hell out of everyone!

Sexually suggestive, racially an socially somewhat offensive but I don't remember any nudity, foul language, or disturbing violence so preens and above should be fine killing brain cells (errr, I mean, "watching") this one.

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